


Angels

by monodramas



Category: SHINee
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Minho POV, Romance, an absolute mess its late and i love onho, mentions of anxiety and sex, ridiculously fluffy and lovey, song fic from angels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-22
Updated: 2016-04-22
Packaged: 2018-06-03 21:11:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,162
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6626449
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/monodramas/pseuds/monodramas
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They would be<br/>As in love with you as I am<br/>They would be<br/>In love, love, love</p>
            </blockquote>





	Angels

_Light reflects from your shadow_

_It is more than I thought could exist_

“Where do you want to go?”  
The whisper was near silent but still detectable as Jinki’s. Small scuffles of sliding on shoes and the rustling of jackets were the only things cutting the silence that blanketed the shared bedroom. The clock by Taemin’s bed read 04:28.  
“Anywhere outside.”  
The constant pressing of worrisome thoughts had made the walls start to push in on Minho, constricting his airspace to something minuscule as the sticking of sheets to his legs and hair to his forehead became far more prominent. He hadn’t meant to wake Jinki (he insisted he was awake anyway) but now he was up, he wouldn’t sleep again until he knew Minho was settled.  
Once out of the dorm streetlights and neon signs illuminated them and the city, which was silent save for a few drunk friends and cars. Minho knew that the twinkling of the signs mounted on buildings gave them both headaches, so Minho led Jinki toward the park; it was darker there. The air outside was easier to breathe and Jinki’s presence began to replace Minho’s incessant worrying.  
Jinki was murmuring one way conversations to Minho by the time they reached the park and were plunged into darkness. The air had a sharp bite to it at such an early hour and Jinki’s face could only just be pinpointed. Yet, Minho could see his expression changing as something ethereal. He glowed even in the night, his shadow reflected it back, and suddenly all Minho wanted to see was illuminated, like an angel.

_You move through the room_

_Like breathing was easy_

_If someone believed me_

He’d just tripped up a stage again. Whether it occurred through sheer clumsiness of the exaggeration of the trait to please the camera, it gained a reaction. Minho’s smile was genuine, but out of fondness rather than entertainment. Jinki tripping, falling, stumbling; it’s all anyone saw. Nobody would believe Minho’s accounts of the way he looks like he’s gliding when moving between interviews with a strong backbone and a sweet smile-- an adult just turned 20 speaking for the gaggle of younger children peering around his shoulder. They don’t see the way he makes one steadying breath last for a well-thought out answer, or how 1000 camera flashes wouldn’t cause a flinch. They don’t see any of it. Minho’s near positive he may be the only one who does.

_They would be_

_As in love with you as I am_

_They would be_

_In love, love, love_

_And everyday_

_I'm learning about you_

_The things that no one else sees_

It didn’t take long to learn things like his favourite colour, tv shows, food. Those can be learned quickly and easily. But there are other things: the way he’ll step on two drains but not the third, he stirs his coffee with the straw 8 ways clockwise and 8 anti-clockwise, the way his jaw grits when he wants to cry but can’t, won’t. They take longer to learn. Year 4 and they’re at the dining table face to face. Jinki’s eyes look off-coloured and his lips drawn too tight. Minho knows what he means, yet he doesn’t, because Jinki won’t let any of them see him like it long enough to discover why.  
“Hyung,”  
The flicker of an upward glance is immediate yet looks detached, the small smile of interest etched too deep. Minho definitely knows that.  
“What’s wrong?”  
“Nothing.”  
Minho has to lift the water jug out of Jinki’s hand before it overflows the glass it was emptying into. He quirks a brow and waits. It doesn’t take long until Jinki begins to speak of events from yesterday; half a year ago. Hundreds of small happenings that had been weighing down his mind until it dragged the colour from his eyes. Minho sits and he listens for as long as Jinki wants him to. Under such a tight schedule he still marvels at how his own time shifts to learn new things about Jinki, whether it takes seconds or hours. These are the things only Minho sees, he hopes he’ll stay the only person who sees.

_And the end comes too soon_

_Like dreaming of angels_

_And leaving without them_

It was just a simple question, a “What would being a bird feel like, Jinx?”. The kind of questions that even after 7 years Jinki can’t give a rehearsed answer to. Minho watches the small flock from the window with his phone pressed firmly to his ear as the receiver crackles slightly to fill the silence from the other side.  
“Like… The most free type of freedom.”  
“That sounds nice.”  
“I miss you.”  
Minho feels the loneliness in his stomach pull his cheeks upward into a smile. They’d been apart for a few weeks, stuck in separate schedules sending them jumping between countries and photoshoots with no chance to reunite at home. 4 hour long phone calls into the early morning did something, but it wasn’t enough when Minho still woke from dreams of him every night to find another hotel bed empty of a body next to him.

_And leaving without them_

_Being as in love with you as I am_

_Being as in love, love, love_

_And with words unspoken_

_A silent devotion_

_I know you know what I mean_

_And the end is unknown_

_But I think I'm ready_

_As long as you're with me_

Sometimes the future is scary. Sometimes Minho still dreads the government stamped letter which will arrive through the door containing Jinki’s enlistment deadline. He dreads being alone, he dreads being together after such a long time apart. He dreads tomorrow, for something terrible could happen. He dreads the now, in case he’s doing something wrong. He dreads that 4 hours ago could be the last “I love you” he hears. Yet through a wordless bond he also knows that they are something more than that. He sees it in Jinki’s eyes when they lie breathless on top of one another, hands interlocked in the dim light of a bedroom after dark. He feels it in the chin that rests on his shoulders, the hand that ghosts over his waist. He hears it in Jinki’s laughs and cries. He hears it in his own too. He’s told it through Jonghyun’s smiles when he sees them together, Kibum’s embarrassed requests of “What do you and Jinki do about it?” and Taemin’s constant teasing. He knows it because he only fears his own liability to make mistakes, he trusts Jinki more than himself. Jinki’s eyes when he tells him how much he loves him are the first, last and only thing he wants to see. Who needs angels when their love is equal, when it grows wings that grant the freedom of the birds that fly high above them.

_Being as in love with you as I am_

_Being as in love, love, love_

**Author's Note:**

> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_nW5AF0m9Zw


End file.
